I’ve been thinking about a conversation I had a week ago with my friend, Brianna Wilcox. We stood outside in a parking lot, marveling at the sight of a husband and wife with their FOUR little boys. Basically, the whole thing got us talking about the fact that even though no one wants to be alone forever, the single life definitely has advantages!
After we talked a while longer, Brianna said an interesting thing about mental experiences single women may face. Then, a couple of days passed before I realized I wanted her to write her ideas in a letter for the blog. The letter appears below. See what you think.
Dear Single Ladies,
I have had an interesting year – and by interesting, I mean turning 30…alone. In our twenties we ask ourselves and the Lord the question, “When?” When will it be my turn for marital bliss and popping out little bundles of…me? This is what we were made for right?!
Growing up in a traditional Christian home, it’s almost as if this was the culmination of life itself. Once the ring hit your finger, YOU HAD ARRIVED! In my hometown, they arrived quick, fulfilling their divine duty to be fruitful and multiply. My dad told me for years, “Bri, the most important decision you can make is to be sold out for Christ and the second is choosing your mate.”
Imagine a line of girls at a school dance waiting awkwardly as the next song starts. This is the guys’ choice, so thumbs start twiddling and eyes begin darting around. One by one, each girl lets loose the breath she didn’t know she was holding as a young man asks for her hand. For 10 years, I have been holding my breath.
A close guy friend (not Joshua) was recently complaining about a crazy, early 30’s girl who won’t stop texting him after 1 date. “Crazy”. “Desperate”. “Needy”. These words have all been used by several men I cherish to describe my age group (including relational status). One of those men finally asked why I was different. “I’m not,” I replied. I went on to explain that a girl in her twenties wonders when her deepest longing will come to pass, the joyful job she was created to do. As 30 approaches the “when” begins to fearfully evolve into an “if”. This was never part of the plan! What if my dream of being a wife and a mother is only a dream. Surely the Lord wouldn’t do this to me…would He?
There are two options for a 30-year-old single girl. The first option is to act on the natural, insane desire to MAKE your dreams come true (even if he is not so dreamy), and the second is to run — no, sprint into the arms of loving Abba Father. The second, I warn you, requires a death, burial, and mourning of what you thought would be, but the pay off is something love songs are written about!
I remember making a statement to the Lord that went something like this:
“If my life never changes from this point on, You are still in control, and You are more than good. I long for Your best, Lord.” Only by the power of the Holy Spirit can I say this daily and actually mean it. The days I forget are just a friendly reminder that I need mercy…sweet, fabulous, loving mercy! Feels good to breathe, and breathe deep.P.S. I do, however, ask the Lord for my husband…then I pray for strength from the Holy Spirit to walk in grace and peace, whatever His answer and timing may be!